If there was such a thing as a personal nirvana, so far, Oregon seems to be mine.
AT PEACE. To me, it is the ideal example of what true societal goals should be. Cities draped in nature had this midwest thalassophile’s heart flooding with joy. And the people were just as lovely as the scenery–simply the friendliest stay I have had yet while traveling. Seriously, was this place even real? Pines. Rivers. Spruce. Biking. Firs. Downtown. Environmentally friendly. Local. Handmade. Creativity. As if they kindled all of my ideal ways of living and tucked it in a cozy pocket of the country.
Throughout the process of my passion project and the travels of the creative residency there are lessons to be learned, knowledge to be shared, and wisdom to be gained–and hopefully an interesting experience to entertain.
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Creative Jam: PDX / Accept That You Beginning Is Not Your End
Only hours before my first Adobe Creative Jam presentation, I texted my mom, “I could have done better.”
Stepping out of my Lyft, I walked directly from a mundane industrial street and into a warehouse hideaway. Loft ceiling, string lights, and food trucks. My first Creative Jam was a heavenly atmosphere. Lingering between the spaces of time and vicinity, my nerves were mildly tamed while I had time to distract with a glass of wine and a new collection of introductions. My deck was checked and practice ran, I only had this space in which to think. The space of the venue in which I admired it’s natural, warm hues of comfort. The space between the company I both kept and met. The space inside me that looped mantras as a consistent tide.
There is no biological difference between excitement and fear. To categorize adrenaline is a mental decision. This is simple adrenaline, and I am simply excited. The adrenaline is the sure sign of a new experience, something new to learn. This is an experience, and I am always learning.
Soon I was introducing myself, talked humorously through some technical difficulties, rambled a wrap-up, and was off the stage receiving a few hugs of commendation. Yet again, that phase cycled back into my mind, I could have done better. A statement that has too frequently become disabling. In a moment where I should have been full of pride, I continued to bash my confidence into nothing, unworthy of any praise. This phrase is the masochist of any creative. And my mom was the person who impeded it.
While practicing in my hotel room three hours before I presented, my mom sent a text asking how things were going. I replied, “I could have done better.”
Being the human I am, my ways of thinking dig trenches probably deeper than most. It was my mom’s reply that helped me back out of that trench and, with it’s undeniable sensibility, continues to be a light voice in the back of my mind. “It’s a learning process. Next time you’ll correct/change/adjust.” She ended on the mom note, “No biggie.” That has been the reminder to view every experience as an opportunity to learn and continue to improve. It is a reminder to accept the progress I have made, acknowledge my passion as the DIY process it is, and allow myself to be a beginner. Life is a learning process.
A huge thank you to Megan Reinhardt, for working so closely with me and my first Adobe Creative Jam by developing a vision into full event.
Good Eats, Smooth Drinks